Our porch tree – decorated for the enjoyment of wildlife AND humans over the winter months.
So you’ve got this tree. The season is now over, and what was beautiful and festive is now a haunting reminder of how much money you’re willing to spend when hopped up on chocolate and cranberry martinis. You need it out of the house as soon as possible.
I get it.
Certainly you can go about this in a very First World Somebody-Else’s-Problem kind of way – i.e. open the door on Boxing Day and throw tree, lights and tinsel to the curb. But you risk neighborhood joggers like me judging you harshly in the early morning hours
(Lights as well? Seriously?)
…and the confusion of your kids who thought you loved the Christmas tree they picked out with little gloved fingers. (Not to mention your love of the environment, over which you will not stop nagging them.)
Wouldn’t it be better to use that tree in a different way and show your kids and judgmental neighborhood joggers that Christmas hasn’t really become the number one holiday for a shallow, consumer culture driven by a never-ending desire to acquire, consume and discard, and is over the minute the wrapping paper hits the floor?
Yes, Virginia. Yes it would be.
So come on. Reach down to the very core of your being, grab the last ounce of holiday energy you’ve got, and let’s give that tree a dignified exit out of this world.
Let’s create a Wildlife Tree.
The transformation of The Christmas Tree
To create a tree that feeds birds and other small creatures throughout the winter months.
LIKELIHOOD OF SUCCESS
Very good. It’s not difficult and gives you a great chance to spend time with your family on a Saturday afternoon.
I am of course assuming you want to.
● Undress your tree of its ornaments, garlands and tinsel. If you lose needles, don’t worry, it’s about the framework, not the tree.
● If you wish to leave lights on (and they are rated for outdoor use) do so.
● Take your tree outside, stand and all.
● Find a good, not-so-windy spot to place it that fulfills the following criteria:
– Birds will find it.
– Judgmental neighborhood joggers will see it.
– It will make you smile when you see it from the window or pass it on the way into the house.
● Use bags of sand to weigh down the stand against wind.
● Do not fill the stand with water. It’s 14 degrees outside, all water is frozen and we both know that the tree stopped taking up water the first time you let the stand go dry three weeks ago. It is an ex-tree. Let it go.
DECORATE FOR WILDLIFE
The fun begins. No really. It does.
● Take your child’s phone away.
● Take your phone away.
● Those leftover bags of cranberries you never strung – find a child, give them a few minutes instruction and have them make a garland with button or quilting thread.
● Pop some popcorn, and just as your child reaches for it, tell them the birds come first and hand them a needle and thread. And a little popcorn. I’m not a monster.